This might be the single best wikipedia entry I’ve ever read …
I miss St. Louis. Bigger roads, bigger people, bigger servings at restaurants and definitely bigger smiles.
Something strange happened on the way to my bus stop today. As a white pickup truck was driving past me, one of the dudes in the truck yells out, “You homo!” I’ve been called a lot of things in my day, but that was the first time I’ve been taunted with a word used to classify one’s sexual orientation … unless of course, they were very educated and was simply using the Greek term for “human,” as they observed me walking on the sidewalk.
Fast forward 30 minutes and I’m entering the 1 train here in the city. As soon as I walk in, there stands an African-American lady in a black tank top and red spandex leggings whistling, “Hmm, you fine thing! You lookin’ good today.” I kind of blushed for a second and then quickly realized her eyes were looking straight past me and toward the person behind me. I look back and it’s a woman in a skirt and blouse. The spandex lady keeps on talking, “You are a beautiful thing young lady. You wouldn’t have guessed it, but I’m 38, and you know I look good.” I rode in awkward silence as the lady kept on pointing to random females on the train, doing a little shimmy each time. It’s important to note that she looked no younger than 50, and contrary to her previous statement, she didn’t look good.
Auto sales are at all-time lows. The job market has never looked bleaker. Groceries are expensive and gas prices have never been higher. But you know what’s the tell-tale sign of a struggling economy—this:
“I never met a $4 latte I didn’t like … well, until the recent gas prices.”
Most parents think their kid is the smartest or cutest or the best at whatever activity they’re into at the current moment. I think I have a real firm grasp on reality, so I know my son isn’t the smartest or cutest or the best at building Lego houses. Yet, why do I have this reoccurring dream that my son will become a world-changing architect grad from MIT with dashing looks. Come on, admit it, he is at the very least, one of the cooler kids on the block.
“Don’t hate me because my parents think I’m beautiful.”
Speaking of my kid, he’s off to St. Louis with his aunt next week for a surprise trip to visit his grandparents. I was thinking about not mentioning this, in fear that the news would spread to my parents thus ruining the surprise, but then I realized my parents still have a hard time figuring out how to turn on the computer. Ahh, St. Louis, did I mention how much I missed it?
